don’t date to date
– we aren’t out here dating anyone we want to date. we are dating to get married.
If you’re on your second marriage you’re more likely (statistically) to get another divorce
– it’s important to build a healthy marriage he
if you don’t have the money to go out and eat, to buy something, then DON’T
Learn to fight fair
– Ephesians 4:26
– Ephesians 4:31-32
– what happens in the “behind the scenes” in your marriage will end up being shown to everyone
– marriage counseling is for ALL marriages
– inner healing & deliverance is important !!!
1. Confront quickly
3. No interrupting or talking over
4. No name calling
5. No yelling
– men, you don’t have to FIX everything. sometimes you just need to listen
couples that pray together, stay together
pillow talk: relaxed intimate conversation normally after sexual relations
– pillow talk is SO MUCH more than that — it’s intimate conversations about real talk stuff
Commitment: do what you say you’re gonna do and don’t give up
– be committed to Gods will and Gods way not your will or your way
– number 1 cause of divorce = lack of commitment
What if you got committed to your spouse and honored them more than you honored yourself?
No matter where your marriage is right now, it’s time to release bitterness and the things you are doing that’s hurting your spouse, and ultimately your marriage.
THE BIG FIVE OF MARRIAGE:
– bible says it is enjoyed within the confines of marriage
– 1 Corinthians 7:2-5
– unless you are communicating about everything, you are not gonna have a good sex life
– honor your spouse more than yourself
– sex cannot be a one way street
– talk about your wants, likes, dislikes, etc.
– infidelity is the number 2 cause of divorce (institute of family studies)
– being shy or keeping secrets will not lead to great sex in marriage
– you have to communicate (preferably before you get married) your expectations and talk through them
– who’s doing the cleaning, cooking?
– how many kids do you want?
– what’s the budget and who’s gonna pay the bills?
– honor your spouse more than yourself, your wants, and your needs and stick the expectations you set
3. In Laws
– don’t go rogue and tell your family about the issues in your marriage. honor your spouse
– when you get married your parents have to take a backseat
– kids also have to take a backseat to your marriage!!!!!!
– number 3 major reason for divorce
– 1 Timothy 6:7-10
– We all want to live the American Dream
– but when we don’t live within the boundaries of our budget then you will find yourself in a nightmare
– every single one of these points, communication is within
– it is EVERYTHING!!
– The success or failure of your marriage depends on how well you communicate
– confront quickly
– have honest conversations
– don’t give the enemy a foothold !!
– get people into your life that will speak life and truth into your marriage
– honor your spouse when they get vulnerable with you
Focus of the Year:
2. Build the Men
3. Building the Walls with the Pledge Campaign
Commitment is a little word that makes all the difference. It changes everything
– Don’t give up just shy of missing your goal
– When difficulties in life happen, we want to run to God and not give up
Every time you quit shy of your goal, it affects your confidence
– Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you have set it in has left you
When You Get Committed:
1. When you get Committed, Opposition Will Come
– Nehemiah 4:1-3
– The devils number one goal is discouragement
– People hate ya cause they ain’t ya
– Make a commitment to celebrate people this year
– When God calls you to something, He’s going to complete it in you — so champion other people to fulfilling their purpose
2. When you get Committed, Know Where Your Help Comes From
– Nehemiah 4:4-5
– When attacks come and things happen, because they do, we need to call on the name of the Lord so HE can fix it
– James 5:16
– Believe it and start speaking it — it will come to pass
– Acts 5:38-39
– Romans 5:3-5
– When opposition comes, lean in to Jesus and pray the specific prayers
3. When you get Committed, You Have to Get United
– When God gives you a big dream, it takes teamwork
– Building the walls do Big Church will take unity and sacrifice
4. When you get Committed, You’ve Gotta do The Work
– without work your dreams won’t happen
– Nehemiah 4:13-17
– FIGHT FOR YOUR PURPOSE, VISION, FAMILIES, PASSION
– Nehemiah 6:9
– Own Nehemiah’s mindset
– 52 days later they rebuilt the walls. It won’t take you years or months to get your breakthrough — just stay committed
– Because of one little boys generosity it changed the course of 10,000+ people’s lives
3 Things to Do to Live a Blessed Life:
Surrender your life to God so He can bless it.
2. Be broken
We’ve gotta be broken like Jesus broke the bread
– brokenness brings humbleness in the Lord’s presence, we get very close to the Lord
– smart people learn from their mistakes but wise people learn from others mistakes
Jesus gabe the bread and fish to the disciples to (1) increase their faith and (2) to teach them generosity
– (1) He takes what we give and he multiplies it
– (2) We learn by action
You become blessed by giving. You become confident by doing the very thing you’re afraid to do. You become disciplined by doing what you don’t always want to do.
– the little boy could have eaten his bread and been full, but because he gave it to Jesus it was multiplied and fed thousands of people, that’s what makes us have true fullness.
Some people have a bad attitude when churches talk about giving:
– every time you gone you are giving to God
– it is the stewardship of the Church that God looks at
– He wants you to give your money, but also give your time, talents, and energy
– He doesn’t want your money, he wants your heart!!!
– where your treasure is your heart is also
– “When you seek first the kingdom of God and all of His righteousness, all things else will be added to you”
– we don’t give to get but when we give God will put His blessing on
– anything you want to be blessed, has to be in covenant
– Put the pressure on God
If you want to live a blessed life, you want to be a tither
– the enemy will do anything to keep you from God’s principals because once you learn it, it will transform your life & bring impact into the Kingdom of God and bring revival to the world
Test God and see what happens when you tithe. Try it this month and see what happens
David had achieved great success but the devil comes as an angel of light so he can pull us off the path and distract us from what God has for us
– sometimes we get really busy doing good things for God when he really just wants our relationship
– does God have your heart and your gaze?
2 Samuel 11:1 – 27
– first red flag in verse 1
– While all of the men are out fighting, David stays at home
– He knew what to do but he didn’t do it
– how many times do we do our own thing when God tells us a better way?
– Romans 12:2
– We MUST take those thoughts captive so we can shake them
– David saw Bathsheba at JUST A GLANCE
– when we ignore the red flags that the Holy Spirit sends we will fall
– it takes a lot longer to get up then to fall
– both David and Bathsheba were exposed
– The devil tempts us with just a little
– we have to keep our guards up or he will take us out
– Just a glance turned into a downward spiral of sin
– a little lust turned into a little adultery which turned into deception and eventually turned into murder
– a slow fade
– Culture today has watered down scripture so much that we don’t think there are consequences to our sin anymore
– the Bible says sin is death — spiritual death
– you end up getting further & further from the Lord
– When we are rebuked and challenged, we have a decision to make
– we can get mad at the messenger
– or we can take what they tell us and process it with the lord
– these challenges don’t come from a hateful heart, but rather from love
David was called a man after God’s own heart
– he was not perfect but the reason because he was called this is because he didn’t stay in failure. He got back up and repented and received forgiveness.
God is in the restoration business